Untitled Poem #4

Do you ever feel like the worst possible version of yourself? Like all of the things you pray never happen come to life in one evening? One moment you're laughing with friends, shoving handfuls of off-brand chips into your mouth. And the next, you're outside under a willow tree, watching a lighter ignite the features of your face. I never meant for it to happen, honest. The idea of it captured me and even though you swore you didn't care, I found myself unable to escape your harsh stares for the rest of the night. (We were supposed to be talking about the future. Instead, I blabbered on about how the cookies tasted like wet cement in my mouth).

A thick fogged took hold of me and held me captive as you watched me lose control (I don't remember you looking. I had my eyes closed. A magic show was going on behind my closed eyelids) until the fog handed me over to sleep.