Author's Foreword

Dear Reader,

I've never really gone about writing a book before, but I figure that the stars are in the right place and the substantial difference between the two ends of the time-and-space wormhole separating us should now be crossed.

I hope I didn't just alienate you.

If so, this book should dispel a lot of the misconceptions about me that distance you and I--sure, we're not molecularly similar on any level, and my job basically means we'll always be at odds--but I like to think of a big chunk of me as human (philosophical note: the same job that alienates us also binds us together for eternity. Crazy wild stuff, huh?).

Another thing this book will do--as the critics tell me on the back cover--is make you "laugh, cry, and never enjoy the relentless energy of life again" (--Hanuman, _Supernatural Weekly_). Enjoy my "hilarious antics" and "soul-wrenching soul-wrenchings" as I get my first job, experience angsty love--and who could forget the time I got hammered with the Fates?

Enjoy the ride! Death